Future Headlines: Winter 2020 Edition | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)
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I'll take vodka over Trump any day
Because I hate liberals. I am in the process of creating my very own newspaper similar to the EPOCH TIMES. The newspaper will be called the BAYESIAN TIMES .. It is a newspaper to prove that conservative ideals are the true form of life and living and can indeed be mathematically proven to be valid which shall be based on BAYES THEOREM. The newspaper the BAYESIAN TIMES will explore extremely nerve-wreaking issues such as QANON, the election fraud, government waste, child pornography, RAPE, FALSE ACCUSATIONS OF RAPE, sex trading, prostitution, drug trade, the war on drugs, etc. The BAYESIAN TIMES will make the EPOCH TIMES look like the liberal New Yorker by comparison.. It will become the ultimate in extreme-conservative views.....
That last one was shockingly true.
U are funny
The 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥..👀🤕
We need Bill back
If he would have said half of what actually happened people would have thought he was nutz President Impeached for a second time in the last week of his presidency after inciting an insurrection where his followers stormed the capitol, that caused the deaths of 5 people and, threatened to hang Mike Pence, even Mitch McConnell has signaled may vote to convict. Yeah, Okay Bill that is to far, never gonna happen pfft.
I've Missed you long time!
The last one rings a little louder these days.
Right 😫
Well the Al Qaeda joke aged perfectly.
Your forcast missed the revolution at the Capitol.
@shortylickens69 He stated that Al Qaida doesn't attack the US because US is already a mess....so ghe Capitol attack made Al Qaida attack redundant.
No it didnt. Go back and watch it again.
No it didn't. Didn't you hear the last prediction?
I bet Bill is wishing he were coming back tonight and not next week.
We can't possibly appoint a new supreme court justice because we don't know the results of the election in 2024.
Why are you still watching this centrist corporatist? Go watch Jimmy Dore like an adult
I was adopted in 1964. I was abused starting on day one. I have been attempting to take back my legal birth certificate, revoke the Watson's (from Munster, Indiana) authority and custody of me. And, not have that authority or custody be given to my biological siblings or their relatives. The AG of California, LA police and LA Times know about this. I also called the grand jury tip number of Bakersfield to give them information about Timothy Mark Paul Watson being a pedophile. And, the FBI have been investigating these people. My husband has recently died. Being that I am atheist; it's difficult to explain to people why I am behaving as I am. As if a funeral, other people's involvement is suppose to change him being dead. Or that their words are going to somehow change my loss or grief. My husband shared with me how much it bothered him, he was atheist, when people did that to him; when someone he knew died. How I feel about my husband's death is no one's business. Yet, others seem to want to interfer with my grieving. I don't want others interfering in my life. People have been doing that since 1964.
Here is a headline for liberals from 2024. Biden does nothing after the first 100 executive orders reversing some of what Trump has done. (maybe kills more people than Obama and Trump who knows)
Jesus fuck that was unfunny.
So I am here to tell you god is real, Praise him and Jesus. Cause I still owe for that Loaf of week old wheat bread.
Don't feel ashamed though, Kid. Some people just do need a Helmet in life.
Anyway, I am the one speaking. If im understood. Then I am just right. You are the one listening. It was up to you to understand. Which you did. You are right, there. We both was not wrong. Now was we?
Your Running a Space heater at 120 Amps. You have 2 Extion cords. One 14 Gage, One 12 Gage, If you use the wrong one you will blow the breaker, and have no lights in your house. Which one Do you use? Do you know? Did you understand?
@Payne_is_good R.J. cause, Realy if I was to use. " Proper English" would you still understand what I was talking about?
Now that should be a video here on youtube. One for, your doing wrong. Have them look to correct you, So they would understand you.
Yeah, But at the Mission here you guys go a loaf of Week old wheat breed for you to take home with you, Just remember god is good. But I like white bread. Oh, but Wheat is better for you.
Not saying their is a God, But life is so Fd up their has to be something or someone behind it all. Anyway we can not believe in god if we want and say the people who do are fools, For simply beliieveing in something with out any proof. But as for me I never have been Shot before with a Gun. Am I a fool to believe it would hurt realy bad if I was?
@Payne_is_good R.J. also who made Poking fun at spelling popular? Can you tell me please?
@Payne_is_good R.J. well ty, For letting a guy know. Their a Like Hundreds of ass holes always looking at my Grammer, It gets fucking annoying. If you want to make fun find a new way, thats all I ask.
@Ickey Sticky. I WAS JOKING I'm not stupid I know nobody cares about their spelling or grammar online sheesh
Cause , if it is understood than it is correct. But was it Proper? No, Thats what you are trying to correct, Not if the words are to be understood, but the words to be proper. Well, Queen. Kiss my Asd. Cause Im not a Proper Wanker, Now am I?
@Payne_is_good R.J. maybe you should ask a guy first, if he or she mines if her grammer and spelling is wrong and If you can tell them where they messed up. Sence you look like a Fool correcting some one about words not right but made sence for you to understand to correct them? Hmm. Maybe?
TEANNA HIT DIS?
Bill Maher is CIA mouthpiece!!!
3,000 died today and not 1 Republican said anything.
Love you! So much.
Bill man, its the dream of your life come true and you are on vacation: get back to work and start mocking the orange 🎃 while he gets a new ‘you lost’ every day - you won’t have that opportunity very soon
we need you Bill! where are you? This is the time you have predicted! "He is Not Leaving" we need at least One New Rule per week! Do not let us down!
Bill love you dude but you should have never said those words " he's not going to leave". The clown took what you said and ran with it.
I'm always sad this time of the year with no Real Time and no Last Week Tonight.
You know every Friday night I LOOK TO... Bill Maher live central standard time it comes on at 9o’clock on Friday Now he should still NOT be on vacation time because the because the stuff he could say now is funny disgusting and sad That an XPRES won’t leave the White House because he’s going to the big house he’s he’s not going to get pardoned but he thinks he is so it would be even funnier than hell for Bill Maher to joke about that what the Biden‘s not gonna have that much fun things to joke about Trump or whatever card already messed things up is that funny it’s reality and we’d rather hear funny to escape from reality and I got a little subject and I’m not proofreading I only speak my textsbut when we get the trump card out of the White House and into the big house pardoning and all these things Bill Maher you could’ve made me laugh tonight I am not White HOUSE Which many of us lost our homes during the coronavirus
Headline Joe Biden does nothing for ordinary peoplr, Bill Maher supports him.
MAHER I WOULD HAVE VOTED FOR YOU!!!
******* Breaking News******** The head of Pfizer research states: COVID-19 vaccine will sterilize females healthandmoneynews.wordpress.com/2020/12/02/head-of-pfizer-research-covid-vaccine-is-female-sterilization/ .
BREAKING NEWS !!! nlworld.info/key/video/0JCdrN_am2p7p28
Trump forgot to pardon the wobbly-chinned turkey masquerading as senate leader.
Russia has lost a tiny fraction of the people that have died of the disease in the US. In Cuba, total deaths from the disease are less than 200.
IN RED SHOES TODAY?
The Al Qaeda one is true! 😁
I'm writing about PA judge Patricia McCullough's ruling Friday night (Nov. 27th) to stop certification of the Pennsylvania vote. PM's ruling seeks to cancel the mail in ballots cast in PA on the grounds that the PA state constitution sets forth only four requirements to justify mail in voting. Basically the four reasons outlined in the PA Constitution in order to justify mail in ballots require some reason why you can't PHYSICALLY vote. Answer: Corona Virus. People voted in such large numbers this year by absentee ballot because of Corona Virus and because they were doing what health professionals told them to do, ie, to seek situations to avoid contact, to avoid crowded gatherings, to do social distancing, etc. We have a health crisis in 2020 like no other. Almost a quarter million people had died from Corona Virus at the time of the election. And some 100,000 more are expected to die in this current flu season, especially because of Trump's neglect of the situation in order to go golfing and to use the rest of his time pursuing power grabs to try to steal the election. This is NOT the regular seasonal flu as Trump and some of his supporters have tried to gloss over it. During normal seasonal flus, the death rate has been some 35,000 a year in the U.S. Is a pandemic with over a quarter million people deceased a PHYSICAL reason not to go to the polls and to use absentee voting? It certainly is. And now some PA legislators led by Sen. Mastriano want to turn the appointment of electors for Pennsylvania over to the legislature. Dems have to file an emergency suit to stop the legislature from doing this power grab. On what grounds? On the grounds that Corona Virus did constitute a PHYSICAL reason why many voters chose not to go to the polls and to vote absentee instead; and therefore, that the absentee ballots were legal and did conform with the Pennsylvania constitution. This is an emergency, the PA legislature has to close today (Nov. 30) by state law, and so they must act on this resolution today in order to perform this steal of the election. They plan to steal the election by giving the power to assign the electors to the state legislature on the basis of McCoullogh's ruling, ie, that mail in ballots be nullified on the basis that they don't follow the PA constitution requiring a PHYSICAL reason that one cannot vote in person.
Fun fact. Tha al-q joke has an element of truth. I am a communist and have hated the US since the Vietnam War and the Coups in Latin America. This year, for the first time ever, I supported a US candidate, knowing that he would cause more damage to Amerikkka than any anti-imperialist guerilla could ever dream of. I gave Trump 500 dollars - and I have enjoyed every frigging second. (Including the hopeless pandemic response).
Am I the only one on the planet that finally gets the "Karen". I didn't know Pence's wife was named Karen. This brings a whole new level to the name. 🌼
That last one. Damn. 😂
So true, but unfortunately funny at the same time 🤦♂️🤷♂️😷🙏
Vodka? I'm immune!
shove it, Tricky Mitch
Thank the lord Bill is back ..... 🥳🥳🥳
The Indian govt's use of water cannons and tear gas on farmers protesting mass privatization of the agricultural sector and unjust reform of farming laws is appalling. They deserve respect for feeding the nation instead of being subjected to state brutality. #ISTANDWITHFARMERS
Trumps denial to concede is because of his plea for donations. He can’t make people support him with cash to help him with “election fraud” when he has given up. Another Trump scam. This time directed directly at his own base.
Me: 😲 (mind 💥)
let me make one: President Trump escorted by the Secret Service out of the White House at January 20, noon
A movie called black water and suddenly you guys lost it
I just mentioned a movie
#TogetherEvery1AchievesMore TEAM!
The Justice Breyer headline scared me for a second, thinking the current Republican senators for Barrett (barring McSally since Kelly will be sworn in on the 30th), they would most certainly give Trump a 4th Supreme court seat.
Joe Biden said he had to defeat Joe Biden, and Trump said he defeated Joe Biden, so Joe Biden must be very much defeated. :)
oh my, this is gold
OK. The election is over. As a non American I've watched it with great interest. Result aside, The MOST amazing thing to me as a person who lives in a free and democratic country is the complete lack of integrity, honesty and professionalism from the White House press gallery. They're just not doing their jobs. Let's hope they're as vicious with Biden as they've been with Trump.
Biden shows up for work at the Senate and punches the person he thinks is sitting in his chair.
Please start or grow your business for free at BuckGet.net
creepy donald
I’ve never liked vodka !
Thats why this song is for Trump, Share and Enjoy everyone: soundcloud.com/marcg-820378274
7in
Here is an example from the "good old days" of when men respected women! Tom Cruise's character did not need to rescue Demi Moore's character. HE RESPECTED HER VERY MUCH! nlworld.info/key/video/uKaVndWUaHt_qaY
I REALLY do think the world would be better if nobody fornicated. I am in the Ben Shapiro camp of 'everyone should wait till marriage.' But I also really really really hate Christians and traditionalists and feminists who think that you telling Rose McGowan you have a 'big cock' is disrespectful and offensive. I think Rose McGowan is a disgrace to women everywhere when she called what you said offensive! I believe smoking is immoral and unhealthy but if you asked me to smoke a joint with you, IT IS NOT disrespectful and offensive. It is VERY respectful. You are treating me like an adult who can say "NO!" Do people get that treating women like children is the MOST disrespectful and offensive thing you can do! Being kidnapped and forced to do analytical work at gunpoint... slavery... Is MORE respectful than treating women like children!
Would have been a little better with the addendum "Vaccine is just Vodka ... and it works!?".
that was quality humour!
And Melania is appointed Donald' legal guardian.
Bill Maher is acting up because he's got 2 Presidents. They both love him bigly. Cheers! (This vodka needs a little more bleach)
It would be utter hypocrisy for #Biden to say he wants an open and unguarded border between the UK and the EU and not have the same between USA and Canada and USA and Mexico, it would be hypocrisy.
Where is the value of a vote when you get people from all over the world the same right without any of the responsibility it comes with. They have never paid a cent in tax, never laid a life in service of nation, done care what America stands for, don't understand separation of church and state, dont believe equality of all and dont understand freedom in American sense. But biden or Kamala or Cortez or Omar won't care just like Trump did not care if he was pushing divisive rhetoric in the country. No body cares for the ordinary guy in a fast food job or in some area suffering from loss of manufacturing jobs. This coming from an immigrant who does not understand where this is headed.
Biden’s fraud will not get him into office. Trump to be our president for 4 more years👏🏻
All those senators that were with trump they shall go to hell
Why does McConnell always look like the "Plantation Owner of Slavery Past!???"
I just called my Trump Loving uncle unintelligent and now my whole family hates me
Nice video sir please support me
How about finally a band accept to be played at Trump meetings nlworld.info/key/video/zaGTY9PLm4dijmc
Why is there an audience
Last one has already come true
Bold of you to assume McConnell won’t make such statement 😂
McConnell can stick it
Funny, but true.
mcconnell : hold my beer
another ipaid joke plz bill
Jesus! That bit was brutal! I love it!
Unfortunately, the last joke is the ONLY thing that could happen to the US to very temporarily unite this country again. That is a sick thought but it's all too true.
PBS Exposé on Dominion Voting Systems in Georgia nlworld.info/key/video/sZF2f6nNa4SgY2c
www.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.uscourts.gand.283580/gov.uscourts.gand.283580.7.1_2.pdf
iPaid2Much Lol 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Al Quaeda doesn't need to attack, indeed. Not when we have Y'all Queda here - A.K.A. WhiteSIS, A.K.A. the American Taliban.
No one depends on Bill Mayer for news.. hoping something funny when he is drunk or high...but nothing this year
Good Riddance.
The struggle in Ken Burns America. Using the most powerful nonviolent tool we have. Click on the link. If necessary, install OneNote. Use tabs to navigate OneNote's content. 1drv.ms/u/s!AkOVZml_NmHYgvAuFpMSr2BjgqiW2Q?e=0kH9vX
Anyone else see the vodka in the bottle moving?
So he's not gonna leave? What is he gonna borrow Rittenhouse's AR and lock himself in the White House? You have about as much for thought as a cabbage. You actually thought he had the balls to barricade himself in the White House against the US military and that some rouge branch of the military was going to defend him? How seriously stupid do you have to be to believe that would actually play out in reality. It just shows how disconnected you are. HE WAS ALWAYS THE COWARD WHO WAS GOING TO GIVE UP. Refuse to leave my ass, he would have to not be a coward first. lol
And another Catholic joke
I would totally believe the Al Quaeda thing though. We have already fucked ourselves
The last one is probably true lol
Bill, you're a schmuck
Last 2 were spot on.
McConnell is looking more and more like the evil Sith Lord Darth Sidious.
How. Fucking. Dare. You. Comparing that fucking slug-trying-to-look-like-a-man with glorious Emperor Palpatine? When the Emperor just had an unfortunate high-voltage accident, in no way connected to the mysterious disapperance of Mace Windu? No. Just... no.
All of them, pretty possible 😅
The last one is our country in a, "nut" shell.